Do you know what it is like to look up into the night sky, and
yet not see the stars? Do you know what it is like to see the birds sing their sweet music, and yet not hear their sound? Do you know
what it is like to feel your heart inside you, and yet not feel it
beat? Do you know what it is like to be in a crowd of people smiling,
laughing, sharing their love together, and yet be all alone with no one
around? Do you know what it is like when the light of your life has
been extinguished, and you are left in absolute and complete darkness,
frightened and alone? Do you know what it is like when the one you love
so deeply and dearly is so far away? Your heart cries out their name
and yet there is no reply.
All you want to do is hold him in your arms, and you cannot. All
you desire to do is to kiss his sweet lips, and you cannot. You long
to hear his soft sweet voice as he whisper words of love to you,
and you cannot. You just want him near, and he is not.
Their absence brings with it longing and sadness. You always aks God why you cannot be with the one you love now, and yet you thank HIM
completely for bringing that person into your life, all the while
knowing that no amount of dreams and hopes and prayers, can, at once,
change the situation.
So, what do you do in such times? How do you keep your wits about
you? How do you maintain some semblance of normal life, when all you
can do is think about is the person that you are so in love with and
that you would do or give anything just to be with? You feel lost
somewhere between the cruel reality of life, and the dream-like
fairytale that you wish to live in, and the only salvation is to be
found in the arms of your beloved and that cannot happen.
Friends cannot totally comfort your soul. Thoughts only make the pain in
your heart worse. What do you do? You think about them - oh my God, how
you think about them endlessly! You pray to God for the strength to see
it through this situation, knowing that someday you will be with that
person forever. But is that enough? No. Not always. Until you are in
their arms, nothing really helps.
And so, I wait. For how long? Only time and God can tell. And as I
wait it seems as though the hands of the clock move in reverse instead
of forward. Each second that passes seems as an eternity away from him.
Time takes him further away from you instead of bringing him closer, and
time is something that is beyond your control.
How is it that love can be so wonderful, and
yet hurt so badly being so far away from the one you love? Such pleasure in knowing and feeling his love for you, the feeling that he make you feel loved and wanted and such mortal pain in being apart from the one that you love so
deeply, so dearly, so passionately.